How to Ruin Your Life

Acknowledgments Introduction: Why Failure Matters HOW TO RUIN YOUR LIFE 1 Don't Learn Any Useful Skills 2 Don't Learn Any Self-Discipline 3 Convince Yourself You're the Center of the Universe 4 Never Accept Any Responsibility for Anything That Goes Wrong 5 Criticize Early and Often 6 Never Be Grateful 7 Know That You're the Source of All Wisdom 8 Envy Everything; Appreciate Nothing 9 Be a Perfectionist 10 Think Too Big 11 Don't Enjoy the Simple Things in Life 12 Fix Anyone and Everyone at Any Time 13 Treat the People Who Are Good to You Badly 14 Treat the People Who Are Bad to You Well 15 Hang Out with the Wrong Crowd 16 Make the People Around You Feel Small 17 Keep Score 18 Use Drugs and Alcohol Freely 19 Don't Save Any Money 20 Ignore Your Family 21 Know That the Rules of Reasonable, Decent Conduct Don't Apply to You 22 Live As If Truth Is Relative—a Distant Relative 23 Remember That No One Else Counts 24 Know That You Don't Owe Anyone a Thing 25 Gamble with Money 26 Make It Clear: Pets Are for Losers 27 Don't Clean Up After Yourself 28 Have No Respect for Age or Experience 29 Show Everyone Around You That You're Holier Than Thou 30 Fight the Good Fight ... Over Everything 31 Do It Your Way 32 Think the Worst of Everyone 33 Live Above Your Means 34 Be a Smart-Ass 35 Whenever Possible, Say "I Told You So" Afterword About the Author